Monthly News from Peta Heskell
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Peta Heskell, broadcaster, writer and director of the Flirting Academy, a NLP Trainer, Coach and mentor, will be writing regularly here for the London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group.
OCTOBER 2003.
Hi! I’m Peta and this is the first of my series of monthly ‘columns’ brought to you by NLP-London. Where courses or people have been mentioned, you will find appropriate web-links at the end.
In this issue (click on link to go to section)
WHO is PETA?
For those of you who like the ‘who’s she’ bits. Here’s a brief rundown of me in terms of this work and a little about me personally.
I’m an NLP Trainer, Master Practitioner and Licensed Mythoself tm facilitator and a Phd in Experience, gained at the University of Life!
I run weekend Flirting courses which are based on confidence, connecting and communicating .
I’m a member of the ANLP and the Society of NLP because I believe in people not politics.
I’ve been on loads of different courses, tried out all kinds of stuff and done extensive training with a guy called Joseph Riggio, who has taught me vast amounts and from whom I’m still learning.
I’ve written three books Flirt Coach, Flirt Coach’s Guide to Finding the Love you Want and Secrets of Attraction – due out Feb 04
I trained in NLP with PPD and Richard Bandler with whom I’ve done nearly every course on offer as a participant and an assistant.
I see private clients for empowerment sessions and run a massive website www.flirtcoach.com [there you go my advert out of the way!]
And I had a long life of adventure before doing any of that! I changed my career at the age of 47 to start the Flirting Academy and haven’t looked back since. Since then I’ve had a constant stream of TV appearances, radio work and press mentions which has really helped me to put out the message.
My favourite two quotes for this month are
Make people feel good for no good reason Richard Bandler
BE who you are, do what excites you, follow your bliss. Joseph Campbell
My mission is to help people find more of who they are and start having the adventure of their life and realise their true potential
And I work on believing in myself, taking risks and being at peace.
I’m in a single but committed relationship with Paul, a motorbike journalist ,whom I met on the day of Princess Di’s funeral, when he chauffeured Paul McKenna on the back of a motorbike to an NLP Practitioner I was assisting on.
I love trees, the sea, the river, the countryside as well as the city, I adore animals and find all humans fascinating and I just passed my motorbike test at the ripe old age of 51. Emphasis on the ‘ripe’ is preferred!!!
Freedom, friends, laughter, play, fun, connecting, being real, communicating, belonging to communities, honesty and love are all important to me
There’s a little soupcon of me in a very small nutshell!
Many of you on this list will know me or know of me because I used to run NLPlay, a big London events group originating from the Bandler trainings in London. Like Phill, I got many of the hottest trainers around, although didn’t quite equal his triumph of getting Bandler to do an evening!
I also used to send out a regular ‘newsletter’ which gave information on courses or great coaches or facilitators I’d come across as well as exploring various topics arising out of personal development, self help or whatever you want to call this stuff we do as a collective.
Most of these topics are sparked off by an experience I’d had that had gotten me thinking.
I’ve been writing my monthly meanderings on and off for several years now but after we disbanded the event side of NLPlay, they became a little irregular.
A synchronous [there’s no such thing as ‘chance’!] meeting with Phill Holt in Kingston, near where we both live, sparked off the idea of joining forces to bring you the best of both worlds, great events with brilliant trainers [have to say that as I’m doing my first NLP-London event on November 26th!] and a thought-provoking, learning and interesting writings rooted in the vast field of self help..
This newsletter will be delivered each month alongside the NLP-London event announcements. It’s my pleasure to write to you and I trust that it will be your pleasure too. Let me know either way!
THE ADVENTURE OF MY LIFE – HOW IT STARTED FOR ME
Even though I am an NLP Trainer, I don’t run pure NLP courses. I’m one of those people who’ve taken the basic recipe, blended it with a whole load of other ingredients and concocted something of my own. In my case it was flirting courses, [all about confidence, feeling good, being playful, connecting and communicating and having loads of FUN].
I’ve been around the field of personal development for 15 years now and I’ve really enjoyed all the toe-dipping into different courses and meeting energised and exciting people with innovative ideas.. and sharing my love of this work and all it’s possibilities.
NLP has now insinuated itself into my way of doing things along with stuff like Joseph’s Riggio mythoself process, shamanism, intuition, energy work and bodywork to name a few..I am constantly learning, attending seminars and building on what I already do
I first came to this work in 1985 in a bookshop in San Francisco. I was 35. An adventure had led me to San Francisco, but that’s another story… I found myself plucking from the shelf a book called ‘Wishcraft’ by Barbara Sher. It was about how to get the life you’d always wished for and to do the work you love and love the work you’d do.
I can’t tell you how much that excited me. Until that moment I’d led my life on a zigzag of adventures, angry, envious, resentful about the way things had ‘turned out’ with no idea of what I wanted to ‘do’ when I grew up. ‘It isn’t fair’ was one of my standard phrases. I’d been ultrabrite at school, but very rebellious. For a conservative private girls’ school this was their worst nightmare. I’d dropped out of university after studying the ‘wrong’ subject. I had no direction and only some vague ideas of what kind of job I could do.
But all those things were part of my journey… I was learning you could say, the hard way, about what I didn’t want. And I didn’t have anyone to point me in the direction of possibility. I was foundering my way through life without any real help. And because I now believe that there is this ‘truth’ or ‘real-self’ that exists within each of us, I see that this voice had been knocking at my door asking to be let out for a long time. I didn’t know which doors to open to let it out, let alone know it existed.
Finding this work in all the shapes and forms I’ve encountered it, has allowed ME to emerge. Instead of always trying to be what I thought I should be in order to ‘fit in’ I now know that being ME is my destiny. Being ME is about letting my life emerge as a perfect fusion of me and my place in the world. . And I emphasise, it’s a work in progress. There are ups and downs, steps forwards and steps backwards.. but almost as if there’s a sort of purpose star out there that’s calling to me, I always end up back on the path. And I know that there’s a whole lot more inside waiting to explode onto the world… As there is for all of us, me and YOU.
THE ADVENTURE OF YOUR LIFE – WHAT’S POSSIBLE FOR YOU?
As a result of my eyes being opened to this way of being, I’ve changed my life and it’s still a work in progress. How about you? What things have shifted for you since you took that step to uncover yourself in all your glory, even if you didn’t know that was what you were seeking…? What did you realise?
You have your own unique reasons for taking this step.. and whatever they were, you may find now that they were merely a pathway to something much much more.. the joy of which you are encountering every day.
When did you notice that you were starting to take part in the real adventure of your life instead of the one that you slotted into because that’s the way it is? Maybe you’ve not stepped onto it yet, if so what’s waiting for you when you do?
What things have shifted for you since you took that step to uncover yourself in all your glory, even if you didn’t know that was what you were seeking…? What did you realise?
You have your own unique reasons for taking this step.. and whatever they were, you may find now that they were merely a pathway to something much much more.. the joy of which you are encountering every day.
So, I ask you again, are you truly allowing yourself to be in all YOUR glory… instead of thinking about what’s stopping you, what if you were to think about what works brilliantly already in your life in any area, how about spending more time dreaming of the things you want. But first you have to know what you want, desire, and juicily lust after. Focusing on what isn’t and what doesn’t work only gets you more of that, as I’m sure, like me, you’ve discovered from time to time.
POSSIBILITY FOCUS
When I see private clients, my first question after we’ve had a bit of connecting and revealing ‘chit-chat’, is WHAT DO YOU WANT?. When I ask this leading question, I’m open for whatever comes up, watching, sniffing, smelling, feeling and waiting like a radar beacon for the signals.
Are you surprised to learn that over 95% of them shift the question in their mind and end up telling me what’s wrong.
What I’ve noticed from their movements and the signals they’re giving off is that most of them appear to begin with thinking about what they want or at least get a glimmer of something ‘nice’. BUT within a few seconds sometimes, they access the problem state.
For that moment when they are thinking possibilities they look in a particular direction, their body often seems to move upwards and outwards, their breathing shifts and they begin to move certain muscles. And sometimes for a moment they have what appears to be the beginning of a a smile on their face and then in an instant, it’s gone. The shift is often quite decisive. They literally look somewhere else, begin to talk to themselves and their body shifts into an irregular or closed posture.
This isn’t surprising as we’ve had years of programming to lead us into the problem state. From the moment we hear ‘Tell Mummy what’s wrong’ we’re being trained to talk about our problems.
And when those inhibitory thoughts emerge as we begin to access this state, it’s as if they are in some svengali-like way luring us to hop on their thought train and before we know it we’re in some deadbeat hole.. BAD news.
Wouldn’t you rather instead generate your own exciting and juicy possibility thoughts, which in turn will create a thought train that is so attractive we want to jump on them and follow the endless path of that delicious line.
My job involves reprogramming people to think about possibilities. It makes sense doesn’t it that when you really keep the focus on what’s possible, you’re going to feel much better than thinking of limitations.
Limitations are for limiting and the best way to do that is to focus on your essence, who you are in all your glory, what’s wonderful about you and then to place yourself firmly in your own tailor-made perfectly formed space in the world and your sense of connection to everything around you. When you have those two in mind, and in body, because in order to fully access it you have to experience if in your body, you will find your purpose calling out to you.
SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH – AN EXPLORATION FOR YOU
Here’s an exploration you can play with to help build up the possibility muscle.
Think of someone that stands out for you as a shining example of overcoming the odds, surpassing the limits, going further. We all know or know of someone who is a real ‘hero/heroine’ in their own life.
Take a moment or two to imagine what it would be like to be that person.
Focus on what positive things they might say to themselves and others as they face the odds that life brings up. What ‘possibility’ images might be predominant in their minds as they go about their daily business. How do you imagine they hold their body?
Now think of your own situation. What would your heroic stance be like knowing that anything is possible for you when you’re being yourself? Adjust your body so that it feels more like that.
What heroic things could you say to yourself to drive yourself? Think of some phrases that would really turn you on, rev up your engine and send you soaring into your life? How would your perfect life be? Find something to write on and then take a moment or two to contemplate your perfect life. Dream as wildly as you want but let it flow.. there are no limits. What ingredients would you put into your uniquely personal concoction. Spend time thinking about this… letting it run through your veins…
Possibility thinking is something I’m passionate about.. and of course, like you, I have times when it escapes me. The interesting thing about this is that sometimes I have to sink into a real funk, before I’ll listen to my true voice. But when it does sink in, I find a way to rise out of it because deep down, there is always hope and anything is possible for all of us. It’s simply a case of knowing what we want, being ourselves and letting it flow out of us…
HAVE YOUR SAY
How has your encounter with this work shifted your life? What possibilities have you made realities in your own life as a result of stepping onto your path. I want to build up a ‘library’ of our own motivating stories so that we can share the joy with everyone else out there on the web. You can help. I want to hear your stories… and in the coming months I’ll mention those that moved me the most and offer empowering examples for everyone else.
Please send your stories to peta@flirtcoach.com
Please check out my website www.flirtcoach.com It’s more than just flirting.. it’s a way of life!
Until next month, big smiles from Peta
Peta Heskell
Director Attraction Academy [new website coming soon attractionacademy.com]
www.flirtcoach.com
peta@flirtcoach.com
Next Flirting Course December 6/7 Notting Hill Gate, London W2 www.flirtcoach.com/workshops.htm
References:
Peta is giving an evening session for NLP London on Wednesday 26th November. The topic is Attraction in Action. How to develop irresistible pulling power and increase your attraction factor in all areas of your life.
Joseph Riggio is running a mythoself course for Teenagers in/around London from Friday November 14th [evening only] – Sunday 16th. For more information contact Des Barry optimabes@aol.com Joseph Riggio’s website is www.appliednlp.com
Wishcraft by Barbara Sher can be found on amazon.co.uk (Click)
Peta’s books are all available on amazon.co.uk (Click) and in Waterstones, Ottakers and Books etc.
This newsletter is the copyright of Peta Heskell and is not in any way associated with NLPlay.
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